KING OF NEW YORK HACKS

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KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE !

KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

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Sunday, February 13, 2011

The King, The Cold, and Chocolate by The Bald Man.

So...it has been cold and snowy as a Muthaf ***er !!! Driving...Sucked...Walking...sucked !! Snowballs ?? Very good...Sidestreets  ?? Fuuhhgeddaboutit !!!! If you went down one you were staying there !! As you can see below is a main road, and the drifts from the plows were a good two feet if you tried to turn down one !! Global warming  ??? Pfffttt !!!!



As you can see the King had a lonely cold walk down the middle of the street to get home...snowshoes would have come in VERY handy ...but who knew ??? The world is melting last I heard : /


One thing I always tell people in my taxi is to dig out their hydrants if there is one near their home, because the last thing you need is a firetruck showing up and now they have to DIG to save your ass...It did hurt a few fires that happened in NYC, so it doesn't matter where you are...



Shovel that hydrant out !!!



However with all the nonsense that snow brings to New York City, there is also a tranquility if you choose to seek it out. Central Park is always a good place for that.



Silence in NYC is always a frozen moment in time...that you won't forget anytime soon. 


Sometimes you really appreciate what the snow brings to the photos you take...Bethesda Fountain, Central Park.


I always like to stop by FAO Schwarz to see what toys I can't afford and pick up something small for the little ones in my family...as you can see the soldier is always happy to see the King toy shopping !!




It was snowing so much I thought this would be a great gift !! Noahs Ark !! Surely we may need it when all this snow melts !!



....Ummmmm....Mr.Schwarz, I think Noah built the REAL one for a lot less !! O_O  Guess its off to Toys R Us !! HA !! $2,399 !!! WTF !!!



Now some things in New York City are WORTH going a little out of your way for...like when its cold in the fall at Yankee Stadium and a beer is $12 and a Hot Chocolate is $10, not worth going out of your way for neither...but if you are near Max Brenner's Chocolate by the Bald Man on a very cold day in the NYC, then I encourage you to fork over $5.25 for perhaps the BEST Hot Chocolate you will ever have...outside of making your own that is...when I make a Hot Chocolate for a woman, she usually proposes to me right after she tastes it. ;)




The Bald Man.



Max Brenner.


I order the Italian Thick Hot Chocolate which is "THE" one to order. ;) Trust me, I'm a taxi driver.




You can also get Pizza here...mmmmm...Chocolate Pizza !!Yeah, NOW you're paying attention !!!



Double Chocolate Pizza Slice, with melted grilled marshmallows and crunchy bits...are you kidding me ???
Think Willy Wonka at the San Gennaro festival in Little Italy !! ..the food here is a bit gimmicky, but it is Chocolate and kids love it...oh and like adults don't ??   However, you can see its pricey, I prefer a perfect slice from many Pizza places in the city from $1.50 to $3.00 depending on where you go and whats on it !




I did purchase this item...a Chocolate syringe filled with warm fresh Chocolate...for a quick fix man, first one is free ;)...I put it on some cookies later on, totally delicious...I even put it on a frozen Ellio's pizza and it tasted AWESOME !! ..actually, off topic for a second...A blogging friend, Kathy Frederick, who writes the brilliant blog "The Junk Drawer" questioned on Facebook the other day what is a better word to use than AWESOME ?? She was tired of it and wanted a better word...something fresh and better...I was laughing out loud at some of the responses, and there were many, spiffy, wunnerful, Epic, cool beans,etc.. !

My first reply was Badass and some other word I mixed together...but someone replied just say "William Shatner !! " ...Damn thats good I thought !! Anything he touches is gold !! I also thought of Abe Vigoda who has a website dedicated to if he's still alive and is one of the nicest people you'd ever meet. I think screaming either of them are interchangeable...and both work for AWESOME...really they do.

For example:
King:          "Man I just had a Chocolate syringe from the bald man's and dat shit wuz... William Shatner !!!"
Passenger:  " Sheeeeet King, I had the Double Choco Pizza and that shit wuz totally... Abe Vigoda !!"

OK, why am I talking about this ?? Maybe "Chocolate" is the new substitute word for awesome...Sweet ;)




This is the Hot Choco concoction.





Yeah, I want one too. :-) PURE CHOCOLATE , White, Milk, and Dark. :-)



A Giant container spinning melted chocolate at a certain temperature...swimming would be nice :P


They even sell a book called Chocolate, a love story...I guess we all have one don't we ? ;) ...and yes, the King gets no freebies, I paid my way !! ( Maybe I'll become a food critic though..hmmm HA ! )  Max Brenner is even on the receipt !





Had one of these too...with syring chocolate...it was a mix of Shatner Vigoda bliss.




I may come back and do a pie one night with some family for dessert....that didn't come out right. :P




Yup...I know what your thinking...DON'T !! HA ! Look at those marshmallows !




So in closing, I hope you enjoy Chocolate,Warmth, and being Bald... or Hairy... or whatever your diet allows you to enjoy and get the most out of it when you need it the most...on this day I was lucky enough to savor this Hot Chocolate for about an hour it was that good, and stayed warm with the lid on..

Have a safe weekend folks, Valentines is arriving and I'll leave you with this observation from one of my passengers...The other night I was discussing Valentines Day and one said..."Valentine's Day is like herpes, when you think its gone, it rears its ugly head once more. Thats why I call it VD"...Never heard that one before, told it to my next customer and they laughed ! I won't tell ya if it was a male or female..or it may have even been a tranny who said it...maybe it was the Queen of England who proposed to me once and I refused because she doesn't have a sense of humor ;)



However, I hope your Valentines Day is as sweet as anyone who visits my blog ;) ...I'm not going to be the King of England, but...I shall remain in your hearts as...The King of New York Hacks. Peace out Peeps.♥

27 comments:

  1. You had me at chocolate! Boy that place must smell... Shatner!

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  2. What is it about chocolate? Hilary took the words right out of my mouth! I'm always happy when I see your post, you show a side of NY and people that is enriching, cuz you drive a cab? Maybe. Our local news has been pushing the same, dig out the hydrants, it's like dig out the leaves in the sewers folks and the roads won't flood, da! Central Park looks lovely and changes the horrible winter moments into something comforting, don't you agree? If and when I make it to NY again, I am going to visit the bald man! Hope your Valentine'S Day is blissful take care and don't forget the groundhog said we're getting spring early this year...oh yeah!

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  3. Oh my! I'm salivating over all that chocolate! And I love the photos of Central Park!

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  4. Hey have u tried William Sonoma's hot chocolate mix? Its all shaved chocolate and u add hot milk to it and stir!.Its to die for!.

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  5. You piqued my interest. Two of the best hot chocolates I've ever had were at Angelina in Paris and The Hotel Hershey in Pennsylvania. Next trip to NYC, I'll try the Bald Man. If it's as good as you say it is, then the season won't matter. It would be good even in the dog days of summer. Right?

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  6. Nothing aids a photographer like a good snowstorm. Since I no longer have to drive to work, I love the snow. I moved back to NY state (not the city) after years in snowless climes, and it has not been disappointing. I am not so much of a chocolate fiend as most - although I like it - but that hot chocolate sounds like it is worth a visit to the metrop.

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  7. I have got to meet the Bald Man-- OMG!! That place looks like paradise.

    Italian Thick Hot Chocolate is my all time favorite and might be enough to get me to visit your freezing cold city in the dead of winter. Thanks for the tip.

    And it's strange to see Central Park with NO people in any of the photos! Brrrrr

    Safe travels out there King. jj

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  8. Oh, gawd................. I don't believe it, Mozilla isn't going to let me cut and paste into here. Sigh....

    I found a joke that I will transcribe into a comment in a few minutes, in spite of it being over 100 word. You've got to have it for your collection to use with your passengers.

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  9. A man walked into a bar carrying a small cardboard box. "Beer my good man, if you please,", and he placed the box on the bar while the bartender drew his draft.

    He took from the box a miniature Grand Piano, and it's bench. He then took a ten inch man from the box and placed him next to the piano. The tiny man went to the piano, majestically flicked the tails of his tux, seated himself, and began playing the most perfect classical music anyone had ever heard. The music spilled out into the street and soon the bar was packed, standing room only.

    A drunk customer asked the tiny pianist if he could play popular music and he immediately switched to Gershwin, again the most perfect rendition anyone has ever heard.

    The owner of the box placed a ten on the bar, asked for another beer, and told the bartender he wanted to settle up.

    The placed another beer on the bar and said, "Never mind the tab, for you and your little friend the tab is always on the house."

    The man nodded his thanks as the bartender went back to serving his over flow crowd.

    A drunk sitting next to the man asked, "Where did you get that thing?"

    The man said, "Come back when you're sober and I'll tell you."

    The drunk said, "Cut the crap, just tell me, ok?"

    The man shrugged and said, "Ok, pay VERY close attention. Out back in the corner of the alley, there's an ugly old woman sitting at a picnik table. You can ask her for a wish and she'll grant it, but ONLY one wish. Be VERY careful what you ask for."

    The drunk rushed out the back door of the bar.

    The man finished his drink, put the piano and pianist in the box, and started to leave the bar when he saw the drunk come back through the back door of the bar followed by a million quacking mallard ducks.

    I see you found the old woman, he said with a grin.

    "Yeah," said the drunk, "I did. You didn't tell me she was hard of hearing."

    "Sorry," said the man with the box, "but that should have been obvious. Do you honestly think I'd ask for a ten inch pianist?"

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  10. Lovely pics of your winter wonderland...it is amazing to see photos of your city with no people in sight. What a phenomenon...& dam good advice about those hydrants!! ! I would not have thought of that. On the news I saw there was a STABBER running loose in your town, and he stabbed a couple cab drivers before they caught him!! Glad you are okay!!

    Hope your day is totally Vigoda!!

    ~ your valentine in the 505 ~

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  11. That post was awes.....er, Vigoda!

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  12. Happy V-Day King! I must check out that place when I get back up there! Yum City...;)

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  13. My brother The King of NY Hacks! Awesome post as always! I loved that shit about Shatner! RIGHTEOUS! I'm gonna start saying that on the CB when anyone says something. Instead of saying 10-4 I'll just reply William Shatner! LMAO! Love the pics of Central Park. I've always thought NYC was one of the prettiest looking towns when the snow is on the ground.

    Be safe out there brother.

    Best Wishes from the Asphalt Blogger:D

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  14. Hilary said it! You had me at chocolate too!!! OMG! I NEED a piece of that Chocolate Pizza!!! William Shatner is hilarious!!

    As always Fabulous post!!

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  15. Don't get a lot of snow here but our hydrants are underground, covered by a grate, there's normally a H on a nearby wall to guide fire engines to them... Not a whole lotta use in a blizzard!

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  16. Oh, King -- I see the button I made for you up top and it just makes me SO HAPPY that you like it!!!!

    "Autumn in New York, why does it feel so inviting?"

    Shoot, great song, but wrong season. Actually an AWESOME song, one of my all time favorites.

    Chocolate pizza -- no thanks. :)

    But King's photography? Yep -- give me lots and lots of that, please and thanks!! Those ones in Central Park -- FREAKING GORGEOUS!!! (Not that the others suck, of course!!) :)

    Well, off now to order one of those Noah's Arks. I've got three grand just itching to be thrown away. :)

    xoxo

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  18. Speaking of england! I love the brits and I watch their shows on tv i think just for the purpose of finding what words they use to substitute for awesome! "Brilliant" is a favorite of mine, and then there's "The Business" as in, "that shit really is the business" "Epic!" reminded me of this, oh they're always saying something is epic, it's all top gear, the british version on bbc not that new history channel one.

    And what the hell, they're plagiarizing my ark for $2,399!!! that's insane!!!

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  19. dude i will be in your town the last week of march...be at an awards in the times center...but spending 5 days there...so i am going to be looking for these places...been to FAO before, fun place, but i need to check out the chocolate...

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  20. You had me wayyy before the chocolate pizza, however all that chocolate was magnificent.
    Love the shot of your footsteps in the snow.
    Great advice about digging out the fire hydrants.
    Now back to the chocolate: OMG! Glad you recommended that place. If only I could get to NYC one day!

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  21. A quick note to say that I nominated you for a Stylish Blogger Award. http://thewriterskaffeeklatsch.blogspot.com/2011/02/is-have-it.html

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  22. You had me at chocolate. ;)
    Thanks for linking up!

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  23. yum!




    Aloha from Waikiki


    Comfort Spiral

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  24. IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS WITHOUT THE KING POSTING! WE WANT MORE KONH!

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  25. Hi, I like snow in New York !

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  26. I love to see central park in snow, it was a wonder full photo, any how i really love to read this William Shatner blog.

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