KING OF NEW YORK HACKS

Follow and ye shall be Knighted !!!
KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE !

KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

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Saturday, August 30, 2008

Old School Ice Cream, New York Style !!


These are a rare breed. Eddie's sweet shop in Forest Hills , Queens. I asked my customer who was an older woman if this is a place I should visit, and she looked at me like I had three heads and replied, " Honey, my grandfather took me there for my first sundae and now I take my grandson, everything is homemade" and she said "the whipped cream is amazing." "A great touch is the when the bowl of homemade whipped cream is pulled from a refrigerator to be used in topping a hot fudge sundae--nothing industrial or canned here." Ok, I'm sold. Eddie's is an old time sweet shop complete with homemade Egg Creams, Vanilla or Chocolate (Chocolate milk or Vanilla Milk and seltzer water...man I LOVE Vanilla Egg Creams ! ), a New York staple that many people forget about. I don't think there is any more old time Ice Cream parlors like this left in the world except for the fake ones like Johnny Rockets. I just took a peek in after she got out of the car , but I'll do a follow up post on what seems like one of the last true genuine homemade ice cream soda fountain joints with barstools and all the goodies I had when I was a kid in Queens that used to be all over the city. I'll be sure to take my nephews and niece to get the true children's point of view as well. Although my brain works on the 5 year old level anyway , even if I am The King Of New York Hacks.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets !!! My Lunch Hour !!! & Trump !!

So as this King went to take his lunch hour on Wall St which is where I work during the day, I noticed a string of buses lined all the way down the block. I stopped to look at them and said out loud "what the fuck is up with all these buses?" to which a fellow New Yorker heard me and replied"Its the fucking JETS, their in the Cipriani ballroom across the street...I saw Bret Favre go in there about an hour ago. " Thanks for the info bro , as he moved on surely back to work. However since I was just beginning my lunch hour , I had to investigate a bit further King Of New York Hacks style.



SO, as I looked at the front of the bus .....yup IT WAS THE JETS , My favorite football team.

I then walked over to Cipriani and told the door guy I was meeting a client at the bar..He knew what I was up too and as I "accidentally" opened the door to the ballroom , I saw the entire Jets team on the podium and everyone clapping for them. Then security told me to get lost. No worries, I figured I'd have my lunch outside and catch them when they left. This picture is the sidewalk logo engraved in brass on the sidewalk in front of the ballroom entrance at Cipriani.



I then looked up and they had a HUGE flag flying high for the NEW YORK JETS !!!!
I asked one of the bodyguards waiting outside what he thought of this and he told me " Man , this is some bullshit , I'm a Giant's fan and we won the Superbowl, but since they got Favre, ITS LIKE THE GIANTS DON'T EXIST !!!!Now C'mon Bro, you agree with me?" I laughed and said he had a good point as I further planned my route of being the paparazzi for the next half hour.

Eric Barton getting interviewed, he is a big boy , Defensive line, 6'2" 245 pounds at 30 years old. He would be uncomfortable being a hack....he picked the right trade.


Eric Barton majored in criminology , so maybe he'll be one of New York's finest one day.



This guy is Kris Jenkins , Defensive Tackle 6'4" 349 pounds , his younger brother Cullen plays for the Green Bay Packers who I hope for Bret Favre's sake was not an enemy of his brother.


This guy has a suitjacket with the sleeves cut of, obviously Kris CAN NOT shop off the rack.


But he looks pretty happy at being a Jet and being interviewed by good looking newscasters....and He DEFINITELY would be uncomfortable as a hack.


I then had to sneak around the block because I saw all the undercover cops going in that direction, and now that I was in paparazzi mode , The King would not fail at getting a shot of the new quarterback for the New York Jets ....BRETT FAVRE !!!! I got as close as I could and got these shots.
I don't think his bodyguards would even let his players get close to him.
Favre is listed as 6'2" , 222 pounds...and I was surprised because he didn't look as big as I expected. I'm 5'11" 225, so if he plays a pick up game in Central Park I'm sacking his ass !!
This big redhead who gave me a high five as I walked by him and snapped a pic is Alan Faneca , Left Guard , 6'5" 307 pounds , this guy was approachable and cool. He does extensive work with Epilepsy Foundation of America and has participated in podcast called "Speaking Out for Epilepsy” after being diagnosed with epilepsy at 15. Keep up the good work brother. The gentleman next to him I believe was Lavreneus Coles 5'11" ' 193 pound receiver who will be working very hard for Brett Favre this season. Another cool dude who high fived me !!

And as fate would have it , I guess Donald Trump was at the function too, I saw him exiting "The Trump Building" on Wall St which he owns, so of course " The Donald " recognizing " The King" begged me for a photo opportunity to which I complied.



Some asshole Hack honking his horn must have distracted " The Donald" , but the pic is in the books. Unfortunately I had to settle for a profile shot as donnie was mad at some contracting done in his building. Hey , I never knew it , but Donald Trump is a tall guy and has a good sense of humor too.....and the hair, well I hope my hair glistens too when I get to his age.


Donald NOT getting into one of The King's yellow chariots...but thats his preference.
Now , as we come to an end of my lunch hour , we meet these cheerleaders for the JETS !!
Lining up for photo op's and autographs.

And here is a little tidbit of info I learned, they are not referred to as cheerleaders...They call themselves the New York Jets Flight Crew !!! Hopefully they'll help fly us to the Superbowl !!!




I am not the pilot of the Jets plane, nor am I a member of the flight crew, but I was a paparazzi fan for my lunch hour as I remain The King Of New York Hacks.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Hansom Cab or Handsome Cab ?

A Hansom cab is a kind of horse-drawn carriage designed and patented in 1834 by Joseph Hansom, an architect from York. The vehicle was developed and tested by Hansom in Hinckley, Leicestershire, England. Originally known as the Hansom Safety Cab, its purpose was to combine speed with safety, with a low centre of gravity that was essential for safe cornering. Hansom's original design was heavily altered by John Chapman to improve its practicability, but retained his name.

Who knew these were very organized every night?
Seems better choreographed than some garages I worked for. LOL


I noticed the doors wide open on a warehouse filled with these "Hansom" cabs without their horses which I'm sure are kept in a nearby place. There was a steel picket fence to prevent me from going in , so I just poked my camera lens through one of the spaces in the fence and got a picture of something I always wondered about. Where are they kept every night? Now I know !!!

I saw a horse tied to a fence one night without the cab but I had a client in the car and we just looked at it and both said I hope the owner knows his horse is there. So now you know where they are kept and how the name was derived....The next piece of information you will find quite vital should you be in New York and need a different kind of cab.

Sooo if you are looking for a "Handsome" cab for a ride to your delight , well thats an easy find.....just yell "YO King of New York Hacks I need a Handsome cab !!" and hopefully for you , my handsome presence will arrive to take you to your destination....AND I smell a hell of a lot better than a horse to boot......really I do...so maybe I'm not even a prince of the "Hansom" cab, but I am still The King Of New York "Handsome" Hacks. ;-D

Monday, August 25, 2008

Wheelchair,crutches and nowhere to go to bed.


The summer months are very hard to drive around late at night and see such an abundance of homeless people. In a city that is filled with cranes developing luxury lofts for people who are doing well from the high euro and deflated dollar. It is repulsive that we can't do more for the people who REALLY need our help. I have many pictures of homeless people around New York City , however this particular one resonated with the fact that he has many disabilities to deal with and I'm sure in this big city we could get help for him to sleep in a more humane way.
And Mr.Bloomberg wants a 3rd term ?? Just another con man....well there are no cons coming , nor will there ever be from The King Of New York Hacks.....and as my brother cabbie MAD D.C. Cabbie says "Please Don't forget the homeless", keep those words in mind people.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Lowriders on 42 St...and an Olympic poem.



I had a family from Maine in my cab who weren't up for chatting and seemed very conservative and uptight while I was driving from the airport to the Marriott hotel, when all of a sudden we all hear a lot of honking and yelling going on but can't really see what the commotion was all about. Finally as traffic eased up we saw these cars parked and some double parked with the hydraulics add ons. These cars are generally referred to as LOWRIDERS !! There were people clapping and cars hopping up and down, and this family from Maine sat in silence and had that "Why the fuck are we in this city?" look in their eyes that made me laugh out loud as I asked them if they saw a lot of cars like that in Maine. They didn't even answer me , they all in unison just shook their heads no. I gave a couple of honks myself as I passed and got them safely to the Marriott. I'm sure they will see a lot of things they haven't seen before in the coming days ahead. Maybe theyll get to see something like this ,click away , its a similar car to the photo: ridiculous hydraulics



Aside from that a friend of mine who demanded that I don't post a poem she wrote about the Olympics that she sent to me....well here it is , I liked it and I hope you do too. Let me know what you think so I can tell her that she should continue to write.

2008 olympics

People mountain people sea,

Gathering China in Beijing,

Minutes on stage, years of sweat,

A little mishap becomes forever regret,

Our greatest athletes,

Let us cheer for you,

You are not only our heroes but our hope.


So as the Olympics come to an end , I thought this was a nice poem, although I'm no poet, or Olympian..and I have no hydraulics in my cab....I still remain, The King Of New York Hacks.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Need a Toilet in NYC fast...Now you can find one!!!

I was interviewed via e-mail by a newspaper in Queens called the "Queens Tribune" by journalist Josh Spiro. He is doing a piece on New York Hacks and he found my sight and asked me a bunch of questions to which I responded to accordingly.

I did mention to him how us drivers have a difficult time finding a place to relieve ourselves in the city. I told him how most of us carry a large empty Gatorade bottle for a number one but a number two is a problem. I told him that I did once resort to, and yes this is humiliating, but I had to crap so bad I found a secluded spot on Riverside Drive ( a pricey piece of real estate to relieve myself ) leaned against my cab praying no one would walk by or see me (which is a very hard thing to do in Manhattan), reminding myself that I only did this while hunting once before. I finished my business and cleaned up. I carry toilet paper, purell hand sanitizer and paper towels in my bag which is really my survival kit.

I felt like I shit all over the stuffy upper crust who live in this area who have stiffed me without a tip many times so there was some retribution in this act, however when I was done, I drove off hoping this would never happen to me again. Well Lo and behold my new journalist friend sent me this website which is a toilet locater for New York City and told me that he hopes it will help. My fellow blogger and driver NYCTAXIPHOTO responded in the comment section because I added the link to my sidebar of Taxi links, so I thought I'd post about this ingenious search engine. Happy toilet hunting in NYC everyone. Here is the link:

http://diaroogle.com/

Diaroogle helps you find quality public toilets from your mobile phone. a pretty little thing

It's for the discerning, on-the-go defecator who is brave enough to use a public bathroom, but still demands a hygienic and private bathroom experience. It is also a community authored database of New York toilets.

Good luck to you,
The Diaroogle Team

I'll follow up on the Queens Tribune article, he told me it will be out next week....wonder if he'll mention this story? LOL

Thank you Diaroogle Team, from the bottom of my heart and "bottom" of The King Of New York Hacks.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Wasting Time

Nothing doing in taxi land tonight, so I wasted a little time on the internet as you should do. Go on, you deserve a break and some wasted time, its therapeutic. These sights cracked me up.


Click on the everyone knows a dick for a wealth of information on the many dicks in the pubic....I mean public eye. This is an Encyclopedic gem to read through. The Dickpedia, hope this King never winds up there.

EveryoneKnowsADick

This next site called THE MASTURBATION METAPHOR GENERATOR, well it made me admit that I may be guilty of "whipping the cork" once or twice in my lifetime. Check it out and see what YOU did is referred as. Aw c'mon , you know you're guilty !!

THE MASTURBATION METAPHOR GENERATOR


This next site changes whatever name you enter into a word. KingOfNewYorkHacks=unlucky. Guess I won't play lotto tonight.

BrilliantTextGenerator



The last one I will leave you with is quotes from Bush or Batman. Maybe Batman will run for president now.....or Adam West...or Christian Bale...they all have a lot in common.

BushOrBatman?

Be safe everyone , wasting time is the work of the devil !!! However this time you can blame it on The King Of New York Hacks.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

URBAN CRITTERS

This city can be quite beautiful sometimes and make us forget all the critters that surround us and how we mostly ignore them or just give 'em a quick glance and keep walking. So I was inspired by another great blog to write this post, Read on and enjoy...If you have a pic of an animal in NYC that you feel should be posted feel free to send it to me and I'll do a follow up post. We can't let all the farm folk have ALL the fun with their critters. Click all pics to enlarge.

Central Park Great Lake at Dusk




I was given a website by gnightgirl called "On The Way To Critter Farm" and Its a website about a city girl who becomes a farmgirl, and posts many of the creatures and experiences that she encounters on a daily basis,( definitely worth a look..many actually,,,VERY WELL WRITTEN FUNNY SITE) . So I figured I'd give her our version of urban critter pictures I have encountered over the last few days all over the city . We are truly an urban jungle real and fake, however I didn't have to use all the animals I see like rats, raccoons,possums,cockroaches and of course the human animals who are of pedigrees I can't put my finger on sometimes. So here goes, nothing exotic but , what the shit!!! This is New York !!Here we go!!


This is something I've never seen before. I've seen guys with parrots or guys with boa constrictors walking around hawking a photo for five bucks...whatever...This guy takes 2 guinea pigs, 2 dogs, 2 cats , and I'm sure he has a mouse up his sleeve. He puts these animals out as you can see on a dinner tray and boxes with a red bowl for the public to fill with money....and people do. Hopefully these animals get food besides the Benedryl that he gives them because they are comatose. Nuff Said on that , weird, I'd rather see the old monkey and music box routine than this dull animal experience. To each his own. This was taken on Broadway a block south of Wall St when I was leaving my day job.




So this leads me to a simple household varmin that has scared the shit out of us at least once in our lives...The Centipede !!!! No, no, not the videogame, for us 80's enthusiasts but a real one that was next to the bed in my fathers basement...Creepy..and yes I squashed him.





Pigeons Bathing in the water as I wait my next fare in JFK Airport Parking Lot...notice my cab ini the reflection of the puddle.....almost Picassoesque, no monsieur? A fellow Indian driver told me to catch them, boil them for an hour and drink pigeon soup, it would cure my asthma as it has done recently for his daughters,,,"no more ezthma my friend" I thought he was saying excema the skin problem at first til he mimicked coughing and such, he also told me best to use a white pigeon or a very light colored one,,"This is best my friend I assure you" he said,,,,,OK thanks a bunch Dr.Ornithology ....but I'll pass on that one.


New Yorks Finest Mounted Unit headed down 8th Ave with their horses to some club that was becoming overcrowded.....Trampling with horses ALWAYS solves the old overcrowding issue , QUICKLY !!


This cat has balls....sitting next to a fish market right next to the snow crabs on sale for $9.99. This cat has a plan, and he's going to call all his friends to capitalize on it. A TRULY hustling New York City CAT ! I took this photo on Canal St in CHINATOWN !!




Metropolitan Museum of Art ..Horses display all over the museum until September.

Louis Armstrong loved to continue the performance via the from steps of the Met or could be one of the Marsalis'.


This little farm with, ostrich and friends were made of leaves carved from a Chinese artist in chinatown, each one cost from 5 to 25 dollars.


Perhaps a little gruesome for some but when surrounded by lovely Christmas lights, the head of a horse almost makes me break out my rendition of "oh horses night,the bar is brightly shining" , sorry just got in the Christmas mood there for a second. Paddy McGuires Ale House, always a good place for a pint.



And who in their right mind can forget the Catman of Times Square who walks around with his feline perched on his head all night screaming "thats right CAT ON THE HEAD !!! presumedly a slight to Dr,Seuss for keeping his cat in a hat instead of using the animal for a hat I'm sure,this cat is very alive by the way.


And lastly , one of my favorites in this jungle, The cow that is perched on the Old Homestead Steakhouse Restaurant awning. ( They do have a great steak and everything else too by the way) If ya click on the pic, it says he's the King of beef.....

and that may very well be, however this urban zookeeper remains, in this city of many critters, The King Of New York Hacks.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Turban Twins

These two drivers had to be twins, they looked exactly alike from the front as well, however they didn't turn around for me to get a photo and then the taxi line started to move. If they would have worn the same colors it would be a mirror image standing before me. This was taken at the LaGuardia airport American Airlines Taxi holding lot. A sight all New York Hacks are familiar with, especially The King Of New York Hacks.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Snow Bike


I saw this bike spray painted white, just leaning against the fence on an overpass,
into the night
the Grand Central Parkway in Queens
making me think for a moment, did it snow? Is this right?

That's what I love about New York,
and maybe I'm a dork,
no matter the time, day or place, someone is always fucking with you.
New York.
A place of dreams , and places to live them out, signing off, I am The King Of New York Hacks.


UPDATE: Thanks to NYC taxi photo in the comment section for setting me straight on what this bike is, and my apologies to anyone I might have offended, I truly did not know.The following is NYC taxi photo's comment."These bikes painted white are usually locked in certain places as a memorial to a cyclist who was killed. Some have flowers and/or placards."

Learn something new everyday. Be safe everyone.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

3AM Williamsburg,Brooklyn

Welcome to Williamsburg,Brooklyn, I'll be your host this evening.

Once I get my sock and shoe on, I'm gonna "behead" you King Of New York Hacks !!!
SOOOOOO anyway , as I dropped a young lady off in Williamsburg,Brooklyn I noticed this bloke in front of a car where her apartment was, so I told her before she got out to be careful, that there was a dude who looked a little fucked up and that she should walk around the back of him. She rolled her eyes, grunted and leaned up to the partition so she could see what I was talking about, took a look at him and sighed "Ohhh Shit !! Thank god I don't know him !! I thought I was going to have to take one of my friends home !!" She gave me a nice tip and happily left the taxi knowing she did not have to chaperone anyone...So I pulled up to this dude and I say "you o.k. dude?" ....He looked at me with bloodied face and dead stare as he emptied what was in his sock into his hand which "looked like little envelopes filled with candy"and he proceeded to dump about 3 envelopes into his mouth to which he then said , "I'm glad you're here , you can drive me home, I live right there", pointing to the house across the street. I told him "not tonight, I think you'll make it though". He then cursed me out saying fuck cab drivers and told me he was going to fucking "behead" me and that I should go suck some cock. "Behead" me ?? What the fuck ?!?! What do you watch Lord of the Rings all day ? 300? Shakespeare in love?? He looked like he was going to spit at me so I couldn't get an action photo of this because I had to pull up a little. I took a parting shot as I laughed my ass off once again and headed towards Manhattan back to my throne with head still attached to the body of, The King Of New York Hacks.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Rarely does another flag fly at the NYSE.

The New York Stock Exchange All American Flags



The New York Stock Exchange With Chinese Flag For The Olympics
Full View Of The New York Stock Exchange With Chinese Flag For The Olympics


I pass by this building everyday, so when you see a different flag flying and all the tourists taking pictures of it, especially the Chinese tourists posing and looking proud that their flag is flying on the exchange, I figured I'd give you all a glimpse of what we might never see again. As of this entry, China leads the U.S. in golds 17 to 10, however we have a total of 29 medals to their 27...It has been an enjoyable Olympics from what I was lucky enough to watch so far. All I can say is that for today, I'm handing an Honorary crown of King of New York Hacks to King Michael Phelps. He moves just like my New York yellow taxicab.. fast, furious, focused, and fearless. The four "golden" rules of being a hack or cabbie....so in closing I hope The King of New York Hacks Michael Phelps keeps making us proud swimming over there while my cab and I swim our way through the streets of New York to our gold which is the color green. $$$$$

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

O K Then ...I know where to buy shoes now .


I passed this shoestore on Broadway and White, and I'm not sure if they sell men's shoes but I'll give it a try and stop by just in case they do...although I'm ashamed to admit ...my feet have never orgasmed !! I don't know if its inexperience, or I'm getting old....or maybe my feet are just too tense sometimes, you know , they are under a lot of pressure and an orgasm for my hoofs would be a welcome respite...albeit may be a little messy, it would be worth the trouble. So whoever makes it there first keep me posted should you have a "sole" eruption to share with The King of New York Hacks.