KING OF NEW YORK HACKS

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Thursday, December 24, 2009

Bloomingdales Windows 2009, The King of New York Hacks, Smilomatic, and a Merry Christmas to all !!

Bloomingdale's Christmas windows 2009...Enjoy.



Selling special bears to raise money for Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation which raises awareness for type 1 diabetes. If you're going to buy a bear, nice to know its doing more than just keeping a child company. Bloomingdale's has done this for 8 years now. They are made by Gund and $5.00 from every bear sold goes towards the fund to help fight this deadly disease.

That's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown.


I like the outfit too, I can use him in my passenger seat on St Patrick's Day !


The story of the Bloomingdale Bear.


The lighting was as terrible as my photography and for the life of me I couldn't get a good shot of the words on the sign, but they say " COLORIFIC - Holiday cheer changes a world of black and white, To one filled with things brilliant and bright "

The reference about "brilliant" was intended for The King..Thanks Bloomingdales...maybe next year they'll put the King in the window, now THAT would be brilliant !! ;-)


Bear'n to Ride...sorry couldn't resist that one...get it ?? Heh heh...OK , sorry.


When I was a kid my older brother had a giant stuffed bear we called smoky that leaked all these little Styrofoam balls from a little hole in it...I recall the memory as I look at this window, feeling as dwarfed by the bear back then as the child is in this scene.

Funny how certain things bring up memories long forgotten...I think I ate some of that Styrofoam too...yes, yes I hear ya !! "That explain A LOT King !! "...hmmmm..Indeed ... ;-)



This is a first time for me seeing a window dedicated for technology which has become so much part of our everyday lives...truly amazing.


This is how I feel about my laptop sometimes...I'm sure a few of you out there would love to dance on yours at times too !!

...and then call the Geek Squad at Best Buy and tell them you don't know what happened, it just doesn't work anymore...HaHaHa...Nahhhhh..we wouldn't do that. ;-)


Good Deeds....some people need to look this up..Many have forgotten what it is... true it is a dog eat dog world, but it is the people who do know that keep this planet spinning in the right direction.

"If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble." ~Bob Hope

"Some people pinch their pennies so hard that I can hear Abe Lincoln screaming in the back seat of my taxi !!" ..Yeah YOU, Alligator Arms, you know who you are !! -King of New York Hacks


A Box Christmas tree of good deeds and donations...very clever.



"Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas."
~Dale Evans Rogers

"A person never stands so tall, as they do when they stoop to help a child"
~ King of New York Hacks

.....yeah, yeah I know and plenty of others have said it too !! However , it is universally said, unfortunately not always recognized, so perhaps hearing it from me ...just may work.. ;-)



The best of all gifts around any Christmas Tree is the presence of a happy family and friends all wrapped up in each other. ~Burton Hillis


"We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup."
~ Buddy the Elf

"Have some Amaretto kid....its Christmas !" ~ Mr.Tocci , Bay Ridge, Brooklyn.
( One of the King's best friends father, when I was just a lad and perhaps not quite 21 yet. )



Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.
- - - P. J. O'Rourke

"*#*$%*#&@&*!....WTF ??!! " ~ King of New York Hacks on April 15th 2010 ;-)





PARTY DUDE : "Hey , so I hear you work on Wall St AND drive a Yellow Taxi ?? Who do you think you are The King of New York Hacks ??? HaHaHa Ha !! "



KING: " Heh heh heh, actually ..I AM the King of New York Hacks and YOU are the penny pinching Alligator Arms !! ....Soooooo we meet again !! Meeeoohahahahahahah!!! "
( notice hat flying off head in his surprise and fear...the King has a superstition about him just like Santa...so be nice and not naughty..AND generous ! LOL )


Dynamic Duos...
One duo that should be in the window is The King, his yellow chariot, and New York City...oh wait ..that's three..no wonder they didn't call me !!
..Oh well next year I'll be available for... "Tremendous Trios"...LOL



Is it me or does Batman look like he's ready for crime-fighting and Robin looks as if he's trying out for Project Runway or that Tyra Banks model show..No OFFENSE anyone , just an observation..Robin always did remind me of an elf in those pointy green shoes anyway. LOL





Cleopatra and Mark Anthony...NOT a "duo" I associate with Christmas at all...Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed would have been better, how about Yogi Bear and BooBoo..or Spongebob and Patrick..all had Christmas specials, even Batman did I believe..but these two ?!?!?!!!!!
In the immoratal words of Shaggy from Scooby Doo...ZOINKS !!!!


Three Duo's in the window... Matter, Material, and Mankind...can you tell the difference ????



Another window I believe should have been Salt-N-Pepa the singers ...but I'm a New Yorker , I guess Salt and Pepper is universal..BUT did they ever sing Christmas carols ?? Salt , Pepa, AND Spinderella do, but hey I was an 80's punk with all this useless knowledge !! Whaddo I know ??

Salt-N-Pepa is a Grammy Award-winning American hip hop trio from Queens, New York, that came onto the music scene in 1985.

The group, consisting of Cheryl James ("Salt", now Cheryl Wray), Sandra Denton ("Pepa"), and Deidra "Dee Dee" Roper (Spinderella), has sold over 15 million albums and singles worldwide. Salt-N-Pepa is the best selling female rap act. Six of their single releases have been certified either platinum or gold in America by the RIAA. Thank you Wikipedia for my readers.




This is a Dynamic Duo of Barak and Michelle wasn't well done either...Zoinks!!! What am I a critic now ??

" Can we make a mannequin of our President Barack Obama that makes him look more like the old Mayor of New York David Dinkins for a lot of money ??
YES WE CAN !!!!" ~ Bloomingdales Window Designer

"Could they have done a better job at this design ??... YES THEY COULD !!"
~ King of New York Hacks



Merry Christmas to you and yours Mr President and First Lady.


Now , some of these Bloomie's window mannequins are robots that move ...like this beautiful Dynamic Duo ...whom it seems are always destined for a "happy ending".



and....As Mrs Claus reached down to take care of Santa after his LONG night...chicka pow pow....
GET YER MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER PEOPLE !!!! ITS CHRISTMAS ...Ahem, as the King was saying ...she reached down , grabbed Santa's hand and said ..."Thank you , for reminding me who I married every year, so many moons ago and taking care of ALL the children..I love you Santa.." Santa responded.." I Love you too, and Baby its Cold Outside , I hope you spiked my hot cocoa with Viagra ! "
....and it was a Merry Christmas for all and to ALL a GOOD night. ;-)




I still think she gave him a handjob in that window LOL ..OK just kidding , go with the above . ;-)
Which...excuse the pun , but brings us right into "Wonderfun" which is whatever you want it to be !!



As for me , it was this robotic Santa waving his magic wand of happiness over the children and bringing us peace for a night ..if for but just one....as Jesus did...as other religious figures did ..as I , and you try to do every day for our families..no matter where we are in the world...

The diversity of this country to me, is what brings us close together, I believe its good to say Merry Christmas , and I will also wish you a Happy Channukah , or a Happy Kwanzaa, or whatever Holiday you wish me in good spirits, I will certainly wish back. That is the meaning of Christmas. I celebrate yours as hard as you celebrate mine, being half Irish and half Italian , trust the King ...ITS THE RIGHT THING TO DO !!!!! Eat, Drink, and be Merry !!!!!

Peace for all...albeit is complicated..we must appreciate this night...one ...and ALL.





Now this was a brilliant idea and I'm going to install one in my Taxi to see if the ride was pleasant or the equivalent of an earthquake depending on whether I like you or not ..just kidding TLC ( Taxi Limo Corporation ) ..how could they damage such an acronym as TLC? ...anyway...The SMILE-O-MATIC !!! Should be in bathroom mirrors everywhere by next Christmas !! HAHAHA HO HO HO !!!


Just do as it tells ya to do.....



...and look into the window , and see if this tour was worth it or not ..or just do whatever you feel like ...its fun !!!! ...and you can do whatever you want !! Can I get a Holla ?!?!?!?! or an Amen ?!?!

Merry Christmas and Peacefulness to all Peepers !!

Thats the King Of New York Hacks in the Window !! Holla !!...and AMEN !!....and Peace to you and a Merry Christmas !

I leave you with three quotes and my goodbye..

Do give books - religious or otherwise - for Christmas. They're never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal.
- - - Lenore Hershey

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
- - - Kin Hubbard

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
- - - Garrison Keillor


and I wish all of you who practice what you preach, an everlasting and eternal....


So in closing i do not preach or lecture, I just want you to enjoy this night , wherever, whomever , and whatever your belief is , on this night I wish you a Merry Christmas....I am nothing special..I am only ...The King of New York Hacks.
A very Merry Christmas everyone. Peace.

Friday, December 18, 2009

The King of New York Hacks ...Brooklyn...and A Dyker Heights Christmas.

NO SLEEP TIL BROOKLYN !!!! Nice shot of the Brooklyn Bridge with The Empire State building in the back of it.



Heading into Dyker Heights passing the Veterans Administration Hospital with The Verrazano bridge lights to the right.




The VA as most people refer to it...I used to transport a lot of Veterans to this hospital when I was just a kid volunteering at a nursing home my mother worked at. My job was just to stay with them and keep them company for the whole day during whatever tests or doctors they had to see...I tell ya, be grateful for all our Veterans, the King heard some incredible stories from many different wars and most of the stories I can still recall quite vividly. A great experience when I was only 17 years old, truly helped me to always be thankful for the things we overlook sometimes. The VA Hospital puts up the same decoration every year as you can also see the American Flag waving. I remember seeing this many times as a child from the backseat of a car as I went over the Verrazano bridge to visit my Grandmother. Nice how some things don't change.



OK...Welcome to Dyker Heights !!! Yo Santa where da f*** are ya ??



First house I see..not too shabby.



This is a common decoration that you see on many lawns throughout the city...sometimes kids steal them off your lawn...I knew a kid who grabbed a plastic snowman and started running with it one time only to be yanked back on his ass because it was hooked up to about 25 other figures and they were all on lock down...a funny sight to all who saw it...was it the King you ask ??? Me do something like that, c'mon....never !!! ;-)



These carolers have actual music playing along with them , all kinds of holiday tunes.



A Santa statue, and this was a real piece of work.



The Nativity set up without baby Jesus because they will put him in the manger on Christmas Eve.



Not Rudolph, but this reindeer said " Yo King Merry Christmas !! " as he looked at me cross eyed he was so happy to see me.



Mrs.Claus (kinda creepy looking if ya ask me) watching over the candy canes.



Ahhhh...Good ole Frosty with a baby reindeer nearby...he sure is a happy snowman.







You can see how crazy the traffic gets , and this goes on ALL night until about 11pm when the people dim the lights for the evening.





Here is a 2:44 second video of sights and sounds of Dyker Heights.





House across the way.


From trunk to the tip of the branches people go all out with hardd work to get these trees so well lit for us all to enjoy.



This house remined me of the Home Alone house..." Yo Joe Pesci , you in there ??? "
Nope...not the Home Alone house.



They really are well done and fun to look at.


Frosty ...wife...and baby Frost. I don't think I ever saw the whole family together..pretty cool.


This house has the Nutcracker theme to it. Those statues are big.



Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy


Since were in Brooklyn now, and these guys are staring me down , I don't call them nutcrackers...I call'em "Ballbreakers" !! HaHa!


Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy...and they did have the ballet music playing, charming indeed.



Christmas Ferris wheel which I wish I could have got on.


Frosty in the streets of Dyker Heights giving out candy to thee cars passing by and taking donations...pretty smart gig, and thee kiddies love it. He told the King to have a Merry Christmas !! Right back at ya Frosty !!


Fake Santa ....right next to...


REAL SANTA !!!!!

KING: "Hey Santa !! Can I have 5 million dollars this year ??"
SANTA: " Shut da F*** up King...I still remember you trying to run with that plastic Frosty!!"
KING: Damn Santa...you ARE good. LOL ;-) I was good from then on though !"
SANTA: "OK..instead of the money , I'll send your blog readers good tidings and health "
KING: "Done deal Santa !! You are DA MAN !!! Thank You !!"
SANTA: " OK..now hit the road hack ! "
KING: " well..Santa..its actually King of...well ..umm never mind..Merry Christmas Santa."


The kiddies were in awe of the "fake" Santa , but the REAL SANTA they were in shock over...cute little girl's face says it all...priceless.


..and as I walked up the stairs of the house Santa was in front of, I got to take a pic of the peppermint red and white striped candy he was giving to everyone, even the King got one !!
Santa loves me.


...at the front window of this home they had a couple of beautiful statues like this one ...


and this pretty elf...


and they let you view the inside of their living room !!! WOW !! I think those are all the stuffed animals that Macy's has a theme around every year ..looks like a child's paradise in there !! Notice the dining room in the back , with full bouquet of fresh flowers. They don't miss a thing!


Their lovely tree and you can see thee stairs to the upper floor where the family probably is hiding !!


Now this coffee table is being used for many things..look at all thee wires on the right....you think they have a high electric bill this month ?? Whoa !



Two wooden soldiers standing guard in the Heights.



A two minute video of the chaos of the area ending with me bumping into some of our military.



However the King got to chat and laugh with those soldiers as we shared stories and enjoyed the feeling in the air...but when it became photo time ...these proud Marines went into full Marine mode...Thank you men, they will be returning to the war and I wished them a safe passage home...Thank you and God Bless the both of you and all your comrades.


You had to walk up some stairs to see the front yard of this house, you can see all the silhouettes of heads looking at Giant Santa !!



...and GIANT he was !!! WOW !! He's as big as the House !!




..which this house was appropriately named ..."TOYLAND"




Which reminds me...I have to watch "March of The Wooden Soldiers" with Laurel and Hardy, one of my all time favorit Christmas movies.




Carolers , lights, music...what a spirit in the air.




These guys were like soldiers at Buckingham Palace...no matter what the King did ..they would not crack a smile or laugh...damn their good...or I'm not funny...I'm going with their good. Ha !


This little blimp reminded me of that little mouse in March of The Wooden Soldiers who would drop little grenades on the Bogeymen...but a penguin in this one.





ELMO !!! Elmo giving out candy with Barney ...actually it wasn't Barney it was just a person in a long purple coat !! Ha Ha !





This was a cool mechanical lawn ornament that if your kid got real close the Bear would growl and shake its head and scare the shit out of many kids as the fake child would pet it to its original position...pretty funny !!




No shortage of Santa's in Brooklyn.



..and where the masses of people are always lies the oppurtunity to make a dollar...this guy parked on a corner and was selling Santa hats , candy canes, not a bad idea at all.




Whoa...this is a long walk ..wonder if there is a bathroom around here ??
Gotta give credit to this house under construction, a fully lit tree with a Mr.John right next to it...only in Brooklyn..Love it !!





..now speaking of opportunity,The King has to head back to the streets of Manhattan or I may miss mine to make some money !!! Outta my way fellow yellow brothers I'm a couple of fares behind on my night !!



..as I stare up the city streets and look at the Empire Statee Building lit up in a magnificent Blue/White/Blue for a Happy Channukah..Happy Hanukkah everyone !! A festival of lights for all to see and share. They change it to Red/Green/Green on the 23rd of December for Christmas.





So in closing ..I hope you enjoyed this little tour through a different region of New York City that my yellow chariot does not go to often, but at Christmas time, people of all beliefs can't resist the lure of Dyker Heights and the spirit it exudes to have you leave with a smile and an appreciation for being a part of this journey through life ...New York City ...and tonight Brooklyn...as I write this there is about 15 inches of snow on the ground outside...good thing I did this walk the other day. I may not be Kris Kringle, or decorate as good as the people of Dyker Heights , but I think even Santa believes deep down, even with my past plastic Frosty incident, that I will drive these streets as safely as he drives his sleigh as he remains Santa, I shall remain from Brooklyn to Broadway....The King of New York Hacks. Peace out peeps.