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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

♫♫ The King likes New York in June....♫ How about youuuu ? ♫

Actually, I like it...but its been pretty damn hot.

Started off with some rain this month but boy is it hot lately...However, like the postman, NOTHING will keep The Dark Knight from protecting the streets of Goth-ahem, New York City...I like how he nonchalantly just walks by and no one bothered him...The Joker knew the King was near by and was probably shitting a pill. Wouldn't be the first time I saved Batman's ass. LOL

Now, the city Sanitation wants to remove all these Ghost Bike memorials calling them an "eyesore", as there are 67 I believe 'round the city now...My customers have all kinds of views on the matter from, "why not a plaque where everyone was ever mugged or raped??" or " hey isn't that what we have cemeteries for??"... I do believe that it brings awareness to the dangers and lack of safe Bicycle lanes in our city, and if you go to this sight they will tell you where Ghost Bikes exist all over the world...I never knew there were so many tributes...

I don't think they are in anyone's way and they are well maintained by the bicycle community, but when the city whispers something to the press, it usually is going to happen..

I'm just curious if they will let these bicycles stay all over the city that messengers use or are just abandoned...however this one looks like its ready to use just adding the wheels and turning the seat right. It also has a decent lock on the frame...some of these frames are very expensive and the wheels just as much , so they spray paint and scratch it so hopefully nobody will steal them....but if the Sanitation wants it, they'll get these too.

I also wonder why we can find money in certain areas to make a Fire Hydrant look so visible and safe for use by the New York Fire Department...

...and in some other areas they are painted 3 colors with missing caps and broken concrete around it...I can see why firefighters get injured just trying to hook up a hose, and then collect 3/4 pay for the rest of their life...If the city can't afford the best safety for our firemen, then they should pay them for the city's ignorance. They paid Wall St for bullshit, and they cant put in Bike lanes and functional fire hydrants ?? ...all I say to that is Pffft !!!!

3 sights everybody walks by in NYC, the Green "Relay" box, The Mail Box, and a city Sanitation can which is all over the city. I once hid in that green box to scare my mailman friend, and he jumped so far back I think he landed in the bodega...but he laughed nonetheless and didn't kill The King for the joke.

I change into my King hero costume in the booth with the light off if I have to protect Batman when I'm needed to fight crime...If I change in the one with the light on , all the hookers come over to me and offer me free massages...what ?? YES THE FEMALE ONES !! LOL

...another example of pristine fire safety...a standpipe they are called. Perfect condition.

and one that I bet could use at least a littlee love and care...

So whats a King to do on a slow summer evening when Batman has no crime for me to fight....I just head on over to Mulberry St in Little Italy, and go see anotheer King friend of mine...THE CANNOLI KING !!!! Stuff is like Krytonite to some, but it is where I get most of my superpowers from...

KONY: "Hey Cannoli King, last one in the back there, the chocolate chip filled one...I might be fighting crime tonight, I'll need it"

CK: "Yo , no problem King, this one's on da house !!! "

KONY: "Thanks CK, just shoot a cannoli in the sky if ya need me...and I'll be finishing my espresso on Canal St..LOL"...mmmm...a New York Cannoli, nothing like it.

...and for those criminals and fraudsters who make your way through this city and get away with it sometimes...just remember....

I may not be Batman...have been called a Joker....but I'll always be watching these streets and keeping them safe as long as I remain...( insert Dark Knight music )...The King Of New York Hacks ... ( insert Dumb and Dumber music now) LOL.

Peace out peeps, stay cool.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

HOPE, and The King of New York Hacks invents a car that runs on WATER !!!

I have developed a car that will run on water.

Unfortunately you'll have to go to the Gulf of Mexico to fill it up.
Ba dum dum ching ! ;-) Awwww c'mon, give The King a break, its funny !
It's also the only way I can get you to read my dribble.

Hello all...I know, I know...The Economy sucks...Oil spill is destroying our environment...Al Gore invented divorce...It would seem as if our best Mathematicians and our most advanced team of Scientists in the world are really fucking things up...oh and Al Gore ?? Well...he's just being Al. I think he will invent the next environment too, where all the hot air is consumed by him...maybe he'll get help from some other obliging cronies in D.C....but I digress...

Is there any HOPE ??

As with any group, I'm sure a few bad apples are responsible for these life changing events, but here's a little video story I saw on the internet, and for those that didn't see this yet, it exhibits the side of Math and Science that are truly remarkable and "life changing" at the greatest degree possible. Lets all watch little Jonathan's Cochlear Implant activation at age 8 months old.

50 seconds long, but you will never forget it.

Spectacular wasn't it ?? I told ya so. The King never lies...except about inventing automobiles that run on H2O. LOL

I recently had a customer in my Taxi with some small children discussing the end of the world action movie "2012", and all the why's and if's the world will end in the year 2012...Well, in all the animated remarks from the kids, the smallest of the bunch, she must have been no more than 7 years old chimes in and says with flawless logic, "The world can't end in 2012 I have a yogurt that expires in 2013."

The car was silenced for a moment as we all turned,
..looked at her, and agreed !! 2013 Here we come !! Woo-Hoo !!
I honked my horn twice to everyone's delight including my own !

Another priceless 50 seconds from a child, that in the midst of all the chaos, brings the calm. Hope ?? Oh there is HOPE my friends, sometimes we just need to look around ...and LISTEN...but Little Jonathan could tell you that now..thanks to people who use the Math, the Science, the Ethics, The Morals, and roll it all out into one big ball of HOPE...which we might doubt, without a brilliant little girl who reminds us that everything is fine, her yogurt is good until 2013...

Yeah, so is mine kid, and yours people...

Ever hear "and a child shall lead them" ?

They already are.

I'm no child, but I intend to act like one as I faithfully remain in my 5 year old frame of mind and smoothly point my yellow taxi towards a destination called 2013 and beyond while remaining...wait for it....The King of New York Hacks. Thanks for riding along folks.

...damn, why didn't I ask her my expiration date ?? LOL

Peace out Peeps.