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Monday, July 23, 2012

NYC Dog VS Owner on 34 St

Sometimes when it gets so hot in NYC you just have to stop what you're doing and rest. Period.

Some of the underground subway stops feel like the worst sauna you have ever encountered until that air conditioned train was a helluva a lot worse when the trains had no A.C. mind you,  and you got to smell all the various odors traveling through the capsule you were trapped in til your welcomed exit.

Even the King has to just say whoa sometimes and pull in the reigns to get something cool and replenish my body with some nourishment and hydration...and for dogs, well sometimes they just let the owner know enough is enough. Here, you can see for yourself to what I witnessed on 34st recently.

Owner:  C'mon boy don't be lazy now we've got lots to do today !!
Dog:       Have you gone batshit crazy ? Its too hot for this shit !!


Owner: C'mon you lazy bum !! If it wasn't for you having to take a shit we would be home already !
Dog: Hey babe, I expended a lot of energy passing that one today...hey really, slow down ...right here seems perfect..I warned you not to feed me too many snausages...

Owner: Oh please you're gonna blame the snausages you so gladly ate ?
Dog: Hmmm..well, yes its not like eating a protein bar and washing it down with Gatorade...looks like we have a situation here now momma..heh heh heh. Get it SIT-uation.Woof!
Owner: You may be cute, but you are soooo not funny right now.

Owner: Do you believe this dog everybody ??
Dog : Anybody wanna take me to an air conditioned movie ?

Owner: People think you're being very difficult.
Dog: Says the woman draggin my sweltering ass down 34th street...Hellooo there beautiful girl in the black top, whaddya say we catch the matinee of Katy Perry in 3D and get out of this heat ? 

Lady: Sounds good, but your lady has a leash around your neck...typical dog you are !! 
Dog: So does that mean Martinis at The Pierre is out of the question ?
Owner: Dork.

Owner: I'm gonna pull you whether you like it or not..
Dog: Do you have any idea what my testicles feel like right now ? Go for it.

Dog: Seriously, does this look like the face of a dog going anywhere ?

Owner: asked for it.
Dog: Whoa...wait a sec !! I know that look !! Don't do it !!

   Owner: Lets go bad boy, were goin' home !!
   Dog: Be reasonable !! I was only kidding when I hit on that girl walking by !!

     Dog: Reverse thrusters !! All weight to ass !!

Owner: Oh don't start that Star Trek shit now !!

Dog: Says the woman giving me shit while carrying my shit...ITS HOT !!!

Owner: Riches to rags in one hand !! Diamonds and Shit !! I must be the craziest woman in NYC !!

Dog: You're not crazy momma..C'mon who loves ya baby ? Seriously I can't move.

Owner: Awwwww, I know you love me,,,but NO Snausages for you later !!

Dog: You could have let me stay home in the air, while you're getting me a water, also get me one of those meat on a stick thingys from the vendor on the corner over there, and pleeassee ..No Hot Dogs...Love you momma. <3

...So I told Ricky Gervais my dog story when I bumped into him on the High Line and he smiled..and then I pitched him my brilliant ideas for a T.V. show and Movie...he smiled again and quickly ran away..probably to get the money for my projects...I got a feeling its a go !!

There are millions of Hot Dog stories in this city...This has been one of them. 

In closing, remember during this heat to take a break and don't overdo it...hydrate , stay cool and be safe peeps...or you just might wind up planting your ass down on 34th Street while a certain King photographs you. Ha !!  ;-)

I may not be Ricky Gervais ( who was totally supercool and superfunny by the way )... but I still remain even in this blistering heat...the hottest dog in New York City...

The King of New York Hacks.

Peace out peeps.